If He Wanted to He Would

“You are WORTHY of a committed relationship rooted in godly love.” - ESTHER MARIE

IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD:

Have you ever found yourself in a "situationship," offering a million excuses to justify the minimal effort from a guy "pursuing" you? Yeah, me too. This pattern is all too common among Christian single women who've settled for less than they deserve. You are WORTHY of a committed relationship rooted in godly love, but how do you break the cycle of toxic love patterns and finally experience true, godly pursuit?

If He Wanted to, He Would: 5 Signs You're in a Situationship

In my course, "If He Wanted to He Would," I guide you through the steps to identify and end these unhealthy patterns, helping you open your heart to the kind of love God has in store for you. Here are five signs you might be in a situationship and how to move toward the commitment you truly deserve.

1. He’s All Talk, No Action

When a man says all the right things but his actions don’t align, it’s a red flag. He might promise to take you out or talk about a future together, but if he consistently fails to follow through, it's a sign he's not fully invested. A godly man who genuinely wants to pursue you will back up his words with action, reflecting Christ-like love and commitment.

INSIDE THE COURSE: In module 1 in my course I call it "BFM" - Bare Freaking Minimum. I teach you how to discern between empty promises and genuine intent, so you can stop making excuses and recognize the signs so you can walk away before this situationship is too far gone.

2. He Keeps You at Arm’s Length

Does he avoid defining the relationship or keep you away from his close circle? This could be a sign he's not ready to commit. A man who is serious about you will want to integrate you into his life, including introducing you to his friends and family. If he’s keeping you on the sidelines, it’s time to reconsider your relationship.

INSIDE THE COURSE: Listen sis, he ain't your type, he's your favorite kind of toxic lol. In module 2 entitled "Heal your Attachment Style" I help you identify why you keep repeating the same pattern of attracting non-commital men and what it looks like to attract a man of God. If you're being kept at arm's length It's time to set boundaries and seek clarity in your relationship.

3. You’re Always the One Reaching Out

If you find that you're always the one initiating contact, planning dates, or checking in, this is a major sign that the relationship is one-sided. A relationship should be balanced, with both parties equally invested. If he's not making the effort to reach out, he might not value the relationship as much as you do.

INSIDE THE COURSE: Girl, let's be real-- women LOVE to be in control. It's our favorite addiction next to coffee and all think pumpkin spice. But sis if you want to truly experience Godly pursuit you need to kick the addiction of needing to be in control. In module 4 titled "How to rewire your attraction to end toxic love patterns" I delve into the importance of mutual pursuit in a godly relationship and how to communicate your needs effectively as well as how to break off those soul ties so you can rewire your attraction to a Godly man. (And no, that doesn't mean you need to compromise your physical attraction...he can be a hottie and love Jesus).

4. He’s Emotionally Unavailable

Emotional unavailability can manifest in many ways—avoiding deep conversations, being dismissive of your feelings, or simply not showing up for you when it matters. A man who is emotionally unavailable is not ready to offer the kind of love and commitment you deserve.

INSIDE THE COURSE: Can I tell you something you don't want to hear? A lot of women stay in unhealthy emotionally broken relationships because they like feeling powerful and needed. But sis you don't need a side project. In module 4 of my course, "How to know when it's time to walk away" I provide guidance on recognizing emotional unavailability and offer strategies for protecting your heart while seeking a partner who is truly ready to love you. Maybe he just needs time to grow and heal-- or maybeeee it's time to say, "see ya never" and move on with your life.

5. You’re Confused About Where You Stand

Clarity is key in any relationship. If you constantly feel confused about where you stand or where the relationship is headed, it might be a sign you're in a situationship. A godly relationship should bring peace, not confusion.

INSIDE THE COURSE: In module 5, "If He won't another man will" I help you regain confidence to dream again for your dating life if this situationship isn't heading off into the sunset. No only that but I give you practical advice in my "Situationship Shutdown" on how to have the tough conversations that bring clarity to your relationship, empowering you to either move forward together or move on.

Breaking Free from Situationships: You Deserve Godly Pursuit

Breaking the cycle of toxic love patterns starts with understanding your worth and refusing to settle for less. You deserve a relationship that mirrors the love of Christ—committed, sacrificial, and enduring. If you’re ready to step out of the uncertainty and into a relationship where you are truly valued, I invite you to join my course and community for Christian single women, "If He Wanted to He Would."

In this course, you'll learn how to recognize the signs of a healthy, godly pursuit and how to let go of relationships that aren't serving you. Together, we’ll explore the importance of faith in the dating process and how to attract a man who aligns with your values and desires for the future.

Ready to Begin Your Journey?
Visit If He Wanted to He Would and start transforming your dating life today. Don’t wait for a man to show up—take the first step toward the love you deserve.